Saturday, October 22, 2005

Ep 6 - big mouths, beers and bon voyages

We're up to Day 15 now folks, and at Yaxha it found young farmer boy Brandon a tad sober after realising that he wasn't privy (meaning 'included', not Elizabethan English for 'toilet') to his tribe voting out frat-boy Blake. I felt even sorrier for him when he tried to get an explanation for it from Bobby Jon, a man not noted for his eloquence or intelligence. Sadly BJ didn't miraculously break out of character but could barely string his words together before grunting out, "He rubbed some folk up the wrong way," after several tries.

Over at Nakum the monkeys were lazing elegantly in the tree tops and looking down on their less hairy brethren swatting off mosquitoes and getting more and more pissed off by the minute. Skinny nurse Margaret was singled out as being the downer of the tribe, even by chuckle trousers Rafe, who told us, "Margaret has such a negative energy.....she's fading out."
Judd, who has about as much delicacy as a rhino with flatulence told Jamie "She's miserable because she got stuck with me instead of BJ, Brandon and Blake." I don't think there'd be too many viewers who'd blame her for that, although we'd probably all hope we'd do better at hiding our disappointment.....

At the Reward Challenge, team Nakum were shocked to see that Yaxha had given Blake the big shove off; but their surprise evaporated when the Probster told them what the reward was - hot dogs, hamburgers, rolls, condiments and beers. For the winning tribe of course. But, in the words of Tim the Demtel man - that's not all - both tribes were to go to Tribal Council that night to vote out a member. He then offered a tiny morsel of consolation to the winning tribe - after this challenge they'd undertake another challenge for someone to win individual immunity from the night's vote off. All clear now?

The props department clearly needed something to help them use up their spare tobacco papers and cardboard pieces because they'd ended up with a huge brown, lumpy ball that was to be pushed to the finishing line in a kind of roly-poly version of tug-of-war.

  • Amy and Danni beat Stephenie and Cindy;
  • Jamie and Judd beat Bobby Jon and Brandon, with BJ and Jamie trying to out-babboon each other afterwards. Most of their chest thumping grunts were indecipherable except (after a quick rewind of the video) for BJ yelling out "That's not nice." Fighting words, BJ, fightin' words. Hells Angels, neo-Nazis and Psychos across the globe would be shaking in their shoes at your menacing use of the English language.
  • Judd and Stephenie beat Gary and Amy but only because Amy fell down and re-sprained her ankle;
  • Margaret and Cindy lost to the injured Amy and Danni!

Good onyer luv!

..... and add a few more victories by Judd'n'Jamie and it ended in cheers of victory for Nakum

and Boo hoos for Yaxha.

Jeff baby wasn't about to give them their BBQ basket that easily however. He then told them that they had to do their next challenge to decide who would win immunity at the tribal council vote that night.

Now how could Jeff not give Danni a quick nibble at Nakum's BBQ basket whilst they were busy doing their next challenge?

The challenge was, mercifully for Nakum, not another physically draining one. They each had to run and untie three bags that contained puzzle letters, do the puzzle, be the first to get it right and thus win immunity. Dear old Rafe was frantically sorting out his letters and Judd, who was still trying to undo the knots on his bags, gave him the answer - Ancient Ruin. Rafe won immunity and probably also owes Judd a rather large favour.

Any worries about strategy and who to choose was forgotten by Nakum as they went back to their camp with their food. "We're on a winning streak," crowed Stephenie. Maybe a tad optimistically I reckon, seeing as it was only their second victory. Dear old Bobby Jon's antics at the 'Big Ball Bash' was their main topic of conversation, but Jamie explained that "Us Southern people are crazy and we know it." Bless him.

Over at Yaxha, BJ saw it less as a deranged quality and more directed at Jamie's behaviour: "He's cocky and arrogant.....he crossed that line and I put him in his place." Yes you did you dumb, inarticulate yet still inexplicably attractive young babboon..... Soon they started to whisper in various groupings about who to vote off that night. Brandon, Amy and Brian were the physically weaker players, yet Brian was exhorting Amy and Gary to stick with him via their original tribal voting lines.

Back at Nakum Judd was as smug as a pig in mud: "I'm goin' to Tribal council tonight without a damn worry in the world, man." That may be so, but it was pretty obvious that the Juddster had taken more than his fair share of the beer at the picnic. He tried to bluff and huff and puff his way out of it, but the others were not fooled. Cindy stated the obvious: "Judd's mouth works before his brain does," and Margaret told us that "Judd is Judd's own worst enemy." Even chippy-chops Rafe looked disappointed in him.

Beers? Where????

At Nakum Tribal Council it was all Judd, Judd, Judd and Judd. He told Jeff that he swapped his hotdog for Stephenie's beer (yet he still took more than his share!). Judd and Jamie started with eye rolling etc when Margaret spoke, making it very clear that they disliked her. When Jeff asked a question about whether Nakum displayed good sportsmanship, Judd was off and running. "I wouldn't consider myself a bad sportsmanship," he ranted over and over. A word of advice, bonehead: lose the word 'ship' from the phrase 'bad sportsmanship' and you might just convince me that you have an IQ larger than room temperature (yes, in celcius).

Margaret said, "Judd only listens to Judd," which he immediately leapt upon. "Do I listen to you? Do I listen to you? Do I listen to you?" he asked of every tribe member only to interrupt each and every one of them. Poor little Rafe looked as though he was about to vomit as Judd exploded around him. Judd continued to rave on and on and ON about how Margaret accused him of having ADD, which only served to strengthen her case, or at least convince the others that he had the concentration span of a warm monkey turd.

As for the Probster, he couldn't even get a word in until it was time for him to say "Now cast your votes." Unsurprisingly, Judd voted for Margaret: "Get out NOW," and Margaret voted for Judd: "You're rude, you're profane." Unfortunately for Margaret, she was given the flick in a classic case of strength winning over anything else - while the dumb ox has a use, he stays. For now at least......

Judd, caught in a rare moment with his mouth closed

Rafe, still looking queasy, then got to sit in at Yaxha's Tribal Council. Gary considered that Nakum were OK in the sportsmanship department, but "Jamie can get carried away and throw some trash talk our way."

Trash talking Jamie, but still pretty enough for my buddy Jill

Brandon gushed over Amy's determination and victory in the ball thingy competition despite her injury, "She's incredible." All of them praised Brian's attitude, commitment and team spirit, with BJ trying his best to include a wordy enough compliment: "He'd make a good neighbour."

Then Jeff dropped a fart, so sorry scratch that - a bombshell - Rafe could give immunity to one member of Yaxha. He cast his secret vote and was then told to buzz off back home by Jeff. Brian voted for Bobby Jon and Bobby Jon voted for Brian. It was not the hyperactive chipmunk's night - Brian was voted out and Rafe's immunity was given to Gary, who wasn't even a target. Jeff sent the tribe back home telling them "You've cut Brian's throat" which was a bit harsh. No dislike was evident; he just wasn't physically strong. As with Nakum, strength wins over brains or wit. For now......

Next week - Amy confronts Gary over lying about his NFL past and Nakum is visited by Yaxha....

And the premiership table shows that I, honourable owner and scribe of this 'blog, have lost all three of my original picks and am therefore pinning all of my lustful hopes on that eloquent piece of man-meat, Bobby Jon.


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