Ep 12 - Aaaarrrrrrgh!

Noooooo! I've just gone to replay the video I set on Friday night to watch the twelfth episode and it's taped the ABC's 'Stateline' instead. Aurrggggh - Poo.Bum.Bugger.Shit.Fart.

Yes yes, I know it's not the VCR's fault, it's the programmer's fault; ie mine. I managed to catch bits and pieces of the show when it was on but it was interrupted by questions from my daughter, doing the dishes, drinking wine, answering the phone, letting the dog out.....

As such this will be a very short report, plucked directly from the recesses of my brain. Please be kind and bear with me.......





The episode started with six; all keen to buy something from the food auction. Hell, that meant that even Lydia might be able to score some food.










Eat, Danni, EAT!


















When the players' rellies arrived, I remember being disappointed in Steph's main squeeze - he didn't look as hunky as I'd imagine. He was sort of muscled but also on the soft fat side and had a head on him like an Easter Island statue.

"I'll tell you for the twentieth time - come on, do it with me - first you wash your face, then you wash your ears, then you wash....."




Judd's wife (Kristen?) was gorgeous - how does a loud-mouthed Noo Yawk City doorman land someone as nice as her? To be fair to Judd he was looking much better in this episode after having lost a few kilograms.

"I rule them all."
"I'm sure you do, dear. Now show me your lovely little cartwheels again."

Who knew Cindy was an identical twin? When they stood together, Cindy looked like a wizened, sun-browned piece of beef jerky next to her white, clean and soft-skinned sister. I'm sure there would have been the odd male or two who would have entertained some less-than-wholesome nocturnal fantasies about those two..... In fact I hoped that's what they'd be drooling about and NOT some twisted scenario with Rafe and his Mum. I won't go any further for fear of nausea; but my cynical little heart strings were twanged when he burst into tears at seeing her.

Danni's brother - some Doofus or other - obviously only swam with floaties on in the family gene pool and poor old Lydia only scored a visit from a brother she hadn't seen in two years. Maybe it's the lingering smell of fish that puts guys off, if this brother is the closest family member that the Survivor producers can rustle up for her? Perhaps she should consider moving out of the fishmongering business and into the pizza and coffee business instead.

The challenges are a dim memory but the tribe's own Preying Mantis, Danni, won it. Good for her - the necklace looked gargantuan against her emaciated chest and I worried that she was about to eat it for a second or two there.

"Aw crap - you mean those big chunky things on the immunity necklace aren't king-sized smarties?"













This unexpected win for Danni threw the other five into confusion - should they flick off Lydia the Useless or Judd the Jabbermouthed? It was Judd given the big elbow, labelling them all "Scumbags" as he left. What a hero - he'd only sat there in front of Jeff a few minutes earlier waaahing on about how someone's got to go home tonight and they should just deal with it. Like Lex in Africa and All Stars before him, this attitude is OK for everyone else unless it happens to them.

Next week on Survivor (lifted directly from the CBS website): Feeling deceived after a tribemate's ousting, one Survivor confronts the Tribe. After a big win, one Survivor has a big decision: try and break the "car curse" or risk it all to drive away with a new car. One Survivor's car decision creates a rift at camp. Will this affect who goes home next?

The premiership table now shows that NONE of us have our original three picks left, but three of you have two picks + Stephenie, and are considered to be 'Equal first' for this week. Those smug bastards are Special Ray, Jazz and Love Chunks. Well done to youse.